Alexis was pestered by nightmares of rotten tomatoes, hunting him down in the late night. Particularly those hot and wet Greek nights, when he would toss and turn in his bed untilthe neighbor's cock, would crow, just before dawn. No matter what he tried (sleeping pills, uppers, downers, warm milk) the image of rotten tomatoes would hant his nights. His teacher suggested he could help him sleep it off, if Alexis would just spend the night in his shabby condo, just outside the city center, but Alexis thought the guy was not square. And then it struck him. Re-visit the image of rotten tomatoes with a square attitude, and all of a sudden, he is laughing at it, no longer afraid. Sleep tight, Alexis.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Karma To Burn Swedish Crackers
Lets face it: As all of you following the breadmaking saga have discovered (thanks for your love), Austrian Jodler is not for the bread maker.Austrian Jodler Bread looked like a disaster, tasted like fresh disaster (at the beginning) and then it went very hard, very soon. It was not well baked to begin with. Contrary to Starlight by Parov Stellar, which is well baked and tastes lovely till the end.
Soon I realized that the way to go with buckwheat flour (φαγόπυρος) is to make thin crackers that will bake well inside and keep the taste uniform (and tasty!!).
Now for Karma To Burn Crackers, mix together:
2 cups buckwheat flour (αλεύρι φαγόπυρου)
1 cup corn flour (καλαμποκάλευρο)
dry yeast, perepared in a cup with lukewarm water + 1 tbsp honey from female bees
Knead, knead, knead Allow to sit for 2 hours in a warm, dark (but clean) place. Listen to some powerful, envigorating Parov Stellar during kneading, to help you keep the pace. After the dough has swollen, cut away small balls of dough and press with your hand on a slightly oiled tin tray, until they are pitta-bread-sized crackers.
Use a fork to make some holes in cracker dough. This will prevent them from swelling even more during baking.
Bake in a pre-heated oven for 20mins till they are nice and crispy. Insert the tray when the oven is at 200oC and remove after listening to the Karma To Burn - 20 song for 4 times:
The end result is pleasing to the eye. Anything is pleasing to the eye, after 4 views of this clip. But still.
Socio-Mathematical Analysis of the Cracker colony
Even before the oven had cooled, several theories were tested with the newly built colony of crackers, resulting in intersting but hard to prove hypotheses.
Step 1: Let us line them up and see if patterns of interaction emerge or if some of the crackers demonstrate Leadership skills.
Cracker Colony arranged in a row
Step 2: Indeed, after a short while, the lead cracker comes out of the crowd and the pack changes formation, to resemble an inverse "v".
Detail of the lead Karma To Burn Cracker.
Interestingly enough the hierarchy of crackers continues down to the last one, dictating relationships of interdependency and status preservation among the Karma To Burn Cracker pack.
Detail of the 2nd cracker forcefully oppressing the 3rd, which in turn is suppressing the 4th, etc.
It could be argued that at any time, if the number nof crackers that have y number of subordinates, is proportionately equivalent to the total number of crackers a, then the number x of crackers that have "middle" hierarchy (i.e. are both suppressors and subordinates) is directly proportional to the concetration of n in any given space. (here the towel on my table)
In simpler words:
(n * y)^3 ~a
x ~Σn/[space area]
The crackers will be put to the test tomorrow at the pic nic of May 1st. I hope somebody brings Jell-o.
1/2 cup olive oil from Pelion, from the gulf area. (Pagasitikos)
Don't forget salt! (2 tsp)
Making bread with Franzl Lang
In a white room
in a large bowl,
add the flours and mix them.
Dig the hole in the middle and add 1 cup of lukewarm water, and 1/2 cup of oil.
At first it seems like Jell-o.
As time goes by you will know how wrong you were.
Stir and knead listening to Yodel Music from your favorite provider.
Sing.
Knead again.
Dance.
Knead some more.
Then allow the dough to rest for 2-3 hours in a warm room or oven.
During your wait, check this out:
And see how hot lines in Austria, provide Yodel pleasure for their customers.
The next morning the dough had still not swollen and I remembered I had not added any honey!
So I gave it another round of kneading with one hearty tbsp of greek flower honey.
Apply olive oil on a tin bake tray and place the bread dough on it, allowing to rest for another 1-2 hours.
Pre-heat the oven to 200oC and bake for 60 mins.
The first attempt looks like this:
The bread came out crumply, and hard on the outside and a bit under-baked inside.
The taste was very interesting, but I was the only one in the house to like it.
My guess is that it would be better if the dough had swollen more (or at all!)
I suspect that the prozymi had perhaps lost its power, that forgetting the honey plays a big role or that buckwheat in general does not swell much.
It is a Monday evening and the second attempt at homemade bread baking.
Here is the recipe:
Συστατικά:
1 pint νερό χλιαρό 1 Kg αλεύρι (περίπου) + 1 cup corn flour + 1/2 cup wholegrain 5-6 κουταλιές λάδι αλάτι (3 κ.γ. ανά 1Kg. αλευριού) μέλι ( 1κ.γ. ανά 1 Kg. αλευριού) νωπή μαγιά 20γρ ό,τι θέλουμε για μυρωδιά (εδώ Μοσχοκάρυδο αλλά μπορεί να είναι γλυκάνισο, γαρύφαλλο, τυρί τριμμένο, ελιές κλπ)
Πως το κάνουμε:
Διαλύουμε την νωπή μαγιά στο ζεστό νερό (37οC). Προσθέτουμε το μέλι και αφήνουμε να φουσκώσει για 10'.
Σε μια μεγάλη λεκάνη, κοσκινίζουμε τα άλευρα (κανονικό, καλαμποκάλευρο, ολικής)
Με την μέθοδο της γούρνας, προσθέτουμε το νερό, το αλάτι , το μισό λάδι και ό,τι μυρωδικό έχουμε διαλέξει (προαιρετικά). Ζυμώνουμε καλά και προσθέτουμε όσο αλεύρι χρειαστεί, ώστε η ζύμη να μην κολλάει στα χέρια μας. Προσέχουμε όμως να μη βάλουμε και πολύ αλεύρι, για να μη γίνει το ψωμί μας πολύ σφιχτό.
Ζυμώνουμε για άλλα 15'.
Ξεχωρίζουμε λίγη από τη ζύμη μας για να κρατήσουμε ως προζύμι για την επόμενη φορά. Σκεπάζουμε τη λεκάνη μας με μια καθαρή πετσέτα και την αφήνουμε σε μέρος ζεστό (το χειμώνα δίπλα στο τζάκι, ή σε ελαφρά θερμασμένο φούρνο - προσοχή όμως να μην είναι ακόμα αναμένος) για 8-12 ώρες, μέχρι να διπλασιαστεί σε μέγεθος.
Πλάθουμε τη ζύμη μας σε καρβέλια ή φρατζόλες και τα βάζουμε σε ανάλογα ταψιά, τα οποία έχουμε αλείψει ελαφρώς με λάδι. Τα χαράζουμε από πάνω με ένα μαχαίρι και τα αλείφουμε με λίγο νερό (εδώ μπορούμε να βάλουμε από πάνω και σουσάμι και να το πατήσουμε λίγο με το χέρι μας). Τα αφήνουμε να φουσκώσουν και πάλι.
Τα ψήνουμε σε προθερμασμένο φούρνο στους 200°C, για 50' περίπου (ανάλογα με το φούρνο και το μέγεθος του ψωμιού).
The end result:
At noon we will see if the kids will eat them. My bet is they 'll love them!!
Preparation activities afoot, please ask my mummy for the cufflinks, where have you hid my shoe?
[where might she be]
[what she may think...]
[...where ...]
Roge enters with a tray of jellys, lined up in 2 collumns. Left collumn is "Plain", right is not.
ROGE: Knock, Knock.
Ready or not, friends of the groom, CHOOSE wisely:
OPER: Afterall, it can make the diffference between having a fine Wedding Night and NOT having.
YOU: Still, know that quantity is not quality.
OPER: You are in <cough> .. the middle ... take the left, choose "Plain"!
YOU: No YOU take the left. . . .Take the Plain.
I am thinking...
<sees own hand, resting on his knees, knuckles and keys...>
I think I 'll CHOOSE Super Fucking God Damn (x4)
OPER: Morning sees Night's choices and laughs!
Now past midnight, a new day has registered in the DI-GI-TAAAAL clock on the kitchen wall,
and the smell of Alcohasi fills the room, like river-Spree-water flowing through the crack of the window of a Berlin TAXI.
Both my wife and daughter are of the sign AQUARIUS, so I should know something about pouring Alcohasi in the mixing bowl with Jelly to make J-Alcohasi. (stirr a lot).
Finally, thank IKEA for bringing us these Jalcohasi porters
c
( six is all I could fill) and count the days for Vassili's & Lydia's wedding.
Today I gave it the first go, see what it takes to do it right.
Hope I have some decent kind of desert before Manos leaves and Vassilis gets married, which more or less is this weekend.
Meanwhile, and while Alcohasi is allowed to settle in the fridge,
enjoy the latest music revelation:
